Is the Bottleneck the Breakthrough?

I feel like I’m in that weird middle place, too far in to turn back, but somehow still not “there” yet.

I’ve been working on this site for 2 months. I’ve planned it, dreamed it, rewrote it, designed it, deleted it, started over again. I’ve done the late-night note dumps in my phone. I’ve sat with a vision that feels so right in my head, but translating it into something real? That part’s been hard and aggravating.

Like... harder than I thought it would be?

And I keep telling myself, “This is the bottleneck. This is that point where most people give up.” And honestly? I get why they do. It’s exhausting putting so much into something that isn’t moving as fast as your imagination. It’s draining to care this much and still feel like it’s not perfect.

And that’s the thing. I want it to be perfect. I want every word, font, color, and every page, to mean something. I want it to not appear half-baked. Not rushed. Not another random site floating around that people forget after 30 seconds!!

But deep down, I know perfection might be a trap. A shiny little excuse to delay. To avoid the messiness of actually starting.

And yet… I’m still here. Still trying. Still tweaking things no one else will probably notice. Still refreshing the page, hoping it finally clicks. Still pushing past that voice that says, “Maybe you should just wait until it’s better.”

Better might not come. Not in the way I think it will. 

pray for me lol